February 24, 2010: ESPN Blew It

I'm going to step out the usual confines of this blog to share my two cents on a breaking news story in the world of sports broadcasting.

ESPN has suspended Pardon The Interruption host Tony Kornheiser for comments he made on his radio show about fellow ESPN personality Hannah Storm's clothing.

According to FoxSports.com Kornheiser reportedly said, "Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today," Kornheiser said. "She's got on red go-go boots and a catholic school plaid skirt … way too short for somebody in her 40s or maybe early 50s by now.

"She's got on her typically very, very tight shirt. She looks like she has sausage casing wrapping around her upper body … I know she's very good, and I'm not supposed to be critical of ESPN people, so I won't … but Hannah Storm … come on now! Stop! What are you doing?"

And for that ESPN has suspended Tony Kornheiser for two weeks.

So folks are asking me on Twitter and Facebook what I think about that.

Why me? Well, in another life I covered sports at CNN for 3 1/2 years.  So I know only too well what it means to work in that arena.  I learned very quickly that there are few jobs more fun.  I also learned very quickly that sports is still a man's world unlike few professions.  I knew that if a male colleague messed up an athlete's name, the response would be, "Oh, Fred messed up a name."  If I messed up a name, the response would be, "Oh, she doesn't know sports."  Was that fair?  Absolutely not.  Were those the rules of the game?  Absolutely.  I knew that going in.  I knew that I had to know my names, stats, and stories cold.  If I didn't like the rules of the game, then I figured I shouldn't be playing in that arena.

Let me also say that I think the world of Hannah Storm.  Boy, does she know her stuff.  Even in the middle of his ridiculous rant, Kornheiser acknowledged she is "very good."

All that being said, I think ESPN blew it.  They decided to pull the PC card and protect the woman's honor.  Bad move.  If you follow the sports world, you know ESPN has developed into a cesspool male sports personalities with way too many sexual harassment situations.  The latest one came just a few months ago when married baseball analyst Steve Phillips got involved with an entry-level young woman half his age.  They've both been let go.  It's just the latest in a long line of embarrassing stories for the network.  I think that's why they went PC making statement with Kornheiser's suspension.

The difference is Hannah isn't some little girl, she's a well-respected peer and colleague.  I promise you ESPN would not have suspended Kornheiser if he made a comment about John Kruk's weight or if he thought Mike Golic wore an ugly shirt.  Besides, Tony is hired to do opinion.  That's his job!  You're suspending him for the very thing you're supposed to pay him for.

One rule of the TV game is that it is a visual medium.  People are looking at you. Any woman who has worked in sports has had someone comment on her appearance and what she wears.  Any woman who has worked news has covered a huge story has had her own mother comment, "I don't think I like that blue blazer."  When I told my own mother back in 2003 that I was heading off to cover the start of the war her response was, "What are you going to wear?" (True story.)

Can it be frustrating that viewers focus on what women wear first before listening to what they say? Absolutely. But like I said, it's one of the rules of the game.  If you don't like it, don't play.

What I see here is a missed opportunity.  There was such a ripe chance here to deal with this thing with humor.  I mean have you seen Tony Kornheiser?  I'm a huge fan of his PTI show, but really, someone who looks like Tony commenting on anyone's appearance? That's the softest toss for a punch line ever. 

So, to Hannah I would say, brush it off, come out swinging with those red boots.  You're great at your job.  You know your sports as well as Kornheiser or any of the other dudes.  You're fitter and have a better physique than Kornheiser could ever dream of having.  Add that all up, my friend, and walk on with the last laugh.

ESPN-- instead of focusing defending a woman's honor why don't you give us women sports fans more of what really counts--even higher profile roles for women like Hannah, Suzie Kolber, Linda Cohn and Reschiea Candidate? How about for once, let's see saucy, opinionated woman kick up their boots by filling in on PTI?  Now that would be a worthwhile move.

Feel free to agree or disagree with me on Twitter or Facebook.

February 22, 2010: Cyndi Was Right

I guess when someone knows you since 1st day of kindergarten, they know you pretty well.  At least that's the case with Cyndi and me.

"I think you would really like this," she steered sometime last Spring.

By "this" she meant becoming a "Big" as in Big Brothers Big Sisters of America.  She wasn't coming out of nowhere.  She's actually worked for the organization for a long time and has seen first hand the magic that comes out of a great match between an interested adult and a kid ready to see the more of the world.

She also probably did some math: Kid Loving Woman with no kidlets of her own + more godchildren than she has fingers = someone who just might want to direct some energy toward doing some good in the world.

That's not to say the math added up to at first.  "I'm busy building my company.  I don't want to get mixed up in someone else's family drama. Really?" were all among my protestations.

All of which was to say I wasn't ready.  And as we all know you can't force anyone who's not ready.

I think it was sometime last May or June that I got ready. I was having a sad Sunday.  Can't even tell you why. Does there have to be a reason?  Sundays can just be that way, I find for lots of folks whether it represents the eve before going back to school or work or just shining a light on a part of your heart that doesn't feel filled up.

It could've been your garden variety pity party.  Instead, a voice in my head crashed with a big time pity party pooper message.  "You can sit here and swirl," it pointed out, "which of course, we know how that movie ends, or you can do something proactive."

That's how I ended up on the Big Brothers Big Sisters website that late Spring afternoon.

I'm so glad I did because becoming a Big has become one big shot of joy and purpose in my life.

The BBBS folks might want to think about running a dating website on the side, because let me tell you--these folks know how to make a match.  9-year-old Rodneisha might be growing up in circumstances completely different from what I did, but it feels like I found 4th grade Daryn. 

She loves school, loves to read, loves to ask questions and just think about stuff.  They tell you in "Big" training to be ready for an awkward "getting to know you" time.  The kids might be shy and not talk much.  Not my girl!  Her seat belt is barely buckled in my back seat before she's off to the races sharing what she learned in school this week, the new book she checked out of the library, and the scary movie she watched the night before.  (That is actually one thing we don't have in common, but I think she gets a kick out of the idea that scary movies give me bad dreams.  She says she's helping me grow.  "It's just good stories and characters!" she insists.)

The stuff that comes out of this kid's mouth!  "I get to write an essay on the early American colonies," she told me today.  "I like the New England ones the best because of all the stuff they did to get away from a bad king."  That led into a discussion about why people came to America.  The difference between slaves and indentured servants and how amazed she was that some freed slaves even owned slaves themselves.  I suspect like all her schoolwork, she's going to ace the essay.

Today, we headed to one of our favorite diners for lunch. She's a pro now at looking the waitress straight in the eye and placing her order.  "French toast, please, and for my healthy choice I'll have fresh strawberries."  That one actually took a little guidance.  We talked about how it's good to have a fun thing like French Toast, but it's also important to make a healthy choice.  As I looked down the menu of the greasy spoon, I realized this might not be the best place to introduce that concept.  "English muffin?" she asked.  "Well, actually, if you're already having French Toast, then English muffin probably isn't the best choice.  What else looks good?"  That's how she found her way to fresh strawberries and with a little nudge, even agreed to forego the optional whipped cream on top, understanding that would pretty much negate the healthy choice status.

As usual, the day was filled with questions. "Who fills up those giant silver container holding all the iced tea?" she wanted to know.  "Let's ask Kara, our waitress," I suggested.  God bless waitress Kara who patiently explained that's the waitress' job to do that, but if they get to heavy they ask some men to help carry them out to the front counter.

As we walked DarlaDog along a nearby stream, up came the question, "Why does Darla have to poop after every time she swims?"  Don't really know, but I do know it's one thing in life, my friend, you can count on. 

And as I was driving her home, this came from the back seat: "I don't get it.  How come if the Earth is always moving we are always facing the same direction?"  Oh boy. Best I could do on that one was offer that it would be a bit easier to explain with some balls or globes when I wasn't doing 70 driving down the highway.

I share all this at the risk of sounding like real parents talking too much about their kids.

It's just to say there is a joy in my life.  She's 9 1/2 years old.  Our growing friendship is supported by a wonderful organization that gives us incredible support, constantly checking up on us giving us guidance. 

If you have just two hours a month and love kids I highly encourage you to find your local BBBS.org chapter.  There's a great match waiting for you, too.

So thanks to my local Atlanta chapter, our match support coordinator, Ethel, Rodneisha's mom who shares her special daughter with me each week. Thanks to Rodneisha's real life big sister and little brother who gift me with bonus hugs every time I pick up their sister.  Thanks to spectacular Miss Rodneisha.

And Cyndi--Many thanks to you. You were right.  I really like this.

February 18, 2010: Hallelujah! Olympics!

I'm tucking away moments and personalities in my mental scrapbook as I watch the Winter Olympics.

So fun and amazing to see Shaun White's "Just For Fun" final snowboard run last night.  When his American teammate crashed, White realized he had won the Gold Medal based on his first run.  He could do whatever he wanted.  And he did, flying up to the Vancouver moon with more twists and turns than a Jackie Collins novel.

I loved seeing the emotional Lindsay Vonn win gold, as well, achieving this downhill skier's lifetime dream.  And it will be a long time before I forget the bright pink tassle and "bandaids" on figure skater Johnny Weir's costume.

As for soul stirring moments?  Right now, the lead contender is KD Lang singing Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah."  Apparently, there is some sort of online buzz criticizing NBC for not taking enough tight close ups of Lang.  Personally, I don't care.  Why?  Because I suggest you watch her performance, close your eyes, and let yourself be transported to a higher place.

What are your favorite Olympic moments and athletes so far?  Please share in our social online community.

February 10, 2010: The Power Of Half

It could be so easy to dismiss the Salwens.

They are the featured story today.  The Atlanta family who decided to sell their big house, move into a smaller one, and give half the profits to charity.  We're talking hundreds of thousands of dollars.  Check out the story to see what they chose to do to make the world a better place.

Like I said, easy to dismiss them.  And trust me, they're hearing plenty of critics.  Dad Kevin told me they're being called everything from idealistic rich fools to socialists.  Pretty impressive range there, I must say.

Kevin will be the first to tell you they get it.  Most people do not have the latitude to make such a grand move.  But this family of four figured out something pretty big while going through this process.  Most people, dare I say, everyone, has half of something they could give away. 

Daughter Hannah explained to me the 3 T's: "Time, trinket, or treasure."

Inventory your life.  There is something you have more than enough of.  Two hours wasted each week could be one hour volunteering at the cause of your choice.  Trinkets could mean that overstuffed closet.  Do you really wear ALL of those clothes?  Could you give away half your closet?  And sure, treasure might mean that you have enough money and could afford to give more.  Maybe not a half a house, but perhaps half your weekly cafe latte' budget?

The Salwens write about their journey in their new book, The Power Of Half.  They're not trying to guilt you into doing anything.  They just want to share the fun they've had as a family giving away a big gift.  It's not about making hooray for them.  It's about sharing the idea that you actually have everything you already need to feel powerful and make a difference in the world for the causes you believe in.

Looks like the Salwens have given more than a big cash gift.  They've given us something very fun and powerful to think about. 

What could you give away half of?  Where would you like to make an impact?

I'd love to hear what you have to say over in our social online community or my Facebook page.

February 8, 2010: Could Your Championship Be Next?

Congratulations to the New Orleans Saints and their exciting victory in Super Bowl XLIV last night!

I enjoyed having folks over and watching a very exciting game.  But this morning I'm smiling about more than just the X's and O's.

I'm thinking about the hope that many of the players, the team, and the city of New Orleans brings to any of us facing challenges today.

Are you feeling overwhelmed and underwater today?  No town understands that more than New Orleans.  Just a little over four years ago it was literally underwater courtesy of Hurricane Katrina.  This morning it proudly celebrates its first Super Bowl title ever feeling more golden than all the medals around Michael Phelps Olympic neck.

How about quarterback Drew Brees?  You think life and this game has always been easy for him?  Consider that he wasn't recruited by big time college programs coming out of high school, despite being undefeated for two years as starting quarterback at his Texas high school. 

He went onto turn in a record-breaking career at Purdue.  Still not good enough.  He fell to the second round in the 2001 draft.  The general consensus was that 6' tall he was too short to be an outstanding NFL quarterback.  Michael Vick, yes, he of felony dog fighting charges, went 31 picks ahead of Brees that year. 

Can't you just feel that frustration?  Why do all those people not believe in me?  Why are they picking someone else? You might have never been part of an NFL draft, but I bet you've had that feeling.  I know I have.

And get this-the slights continued for Brees.  The San Diego Chargers drafted him in the second round in 2001.  He had a successful career in San Diego, but when it came time to sign a new deal in 2006, he had a bum shoulder and again a lot of doubters.  That's when the New Orleans decided he was their man.  It's a story that all leads up to last night's championship.

My point is I think we all understand the frustration of feeling like we will never overcome, like we will never get out from under the flood of water and problems that feel like they are beating us.

And I know only too well how easy it is to focus on others who appear to be getting picked ahead of where we think we deserve to be.

Drew Brees believes his entire journey of success and snubs was always unfolding just as it was supposed to---leading him to New Orleans where he has now led the city to the best possible symbol of rebirth.

So that's what I'm thinking about today.  That it's not about getting picked and people getting it when I think they should.  It's about doing like Drew Brees--showing up like a champion at each stage no matter who appreciates it or not. And about trusting that not getting picked is just as important as getting picked.  Together they're working together to direct me to exactly the place I'm meant to go. 

After all, it's possible the championship is right around the corner.

February 3, 2010: Super Duper Super Bowl Ads!

The Super Bowl is still 4 days away.  Plenty of time for me to get the spread together for friends who are coming over to watch the big game.

Meanwhile, I'm very excited to for the Super Bowl ads.  They're always great and this year there are a couple I will especially be keeping an eye out for.

I'm so proud to say that my sister, Kallan, has produced one of the biggest ads this year.  She let me have a sneak peek yesterday.  Oops.  I don't know if I was supposed to share that.

I can tell you it features two of the biggest names in the NBA, one NBA legend and some pretty cool special effects.  Please keep an eye out for that one and make, "Hooray!" for my sister when it runs!

And I'm looking forward to seeing what the folks at Miller Lite Beer do with their time.  This year, they decided to buy time and use it featuring four small businesses.  The folks at the company say "Miller High Life is all about common sense and nothing makes more sense than giving deserving small businesses the opportunity to be a part of the big game," said Miller High Life brand manager Joe Abegg. "What better way to show our appreciation for hard-working Americans who share High Life's values than by providing a prime-time stage for a few to tell their story?"

The Business Journal newspaper reports the ads, "will feature the owners of Del's Barber Shop in Escondido, Calif.; Tim's Baseball Card Shop in Chicago; Loretta's Authentic Pralines in New Orleans; and Bizarre Guitar & Drum in Phoenix."

How cool is that?  A big time company giving a platform to small businesses who could never afford such an opportunity.

There sure is going to be plenty to cheer for Sunday and that's before I've even figured out if I'm rooting for the Saints or the Colts.

February 1, 2010: I Want What That Feels Like

You don't want anything.

Fight me on this.

Go ahead.

I stand by my statement.  You, me, each one of us.  Not a single one of us wants a single thing.  No we want what we think the thing we want feels like. 

My old friend and former CNN colleague Jim Moret reminded me of this just the other day.

Boy, did it look like he had it all.  Great family.  Glamorous TV career.  Who wouldn't want all that?  Who wouldn't want to be Jim Moret?

But I'm telling you.  No one wants what it meant to be Jim Moret a few years ago.  You might've wanted what you thought it felt like to be Jim Moret.  But you didn't want to be him.

How do I know?  Because I and everyone else who is reading his incredibly inspiring new book now knows it couldn't have felt worse to be Jim Moret.  So bad, he was thinking of ending it all. 

Just as amazing as that head turner is how Jim turned his attitude, perspective, and life around.  It came down to one simple question: "What would I do if this were the last day of my life?"

You can see more about Jim and his incredible journey in today's featured story.

On the flip side is Patrick Henry Hughes.

Hey, everybody!  How about wishing you could be born without eyes and unable to walk.  Who would wish for that?!

You just might after you see this story from ESPN's Tom Rinaldi.  Through another Rinaldi classic, he shows us it would feel pretty amazing to get to be Patrick Henry Hughes for just one day.  To have his zest for life and appreciation of the gifts and people in his life. 

Now that, you just might want.

I first came upon this idea that no one really wants anything, they just want what they think it would feel like soon after joining CNN.

A local Phoenix newspaper wrote an article all about the rising star at CNN Sports.  Y'know a "local girl makes good" kind of piece. 

I remember it like it was yesterday.  I read all about this young woman who got to work at an international network and travel the world covering the biggest sporting events and athletes.  As soon as I finished reading, my first thought was, "I wish I could be her."

"Oh!  I am HER," I had to remind myself.

"Well, I wish I could feel like I think it should feel to be her."  Because truth was I didn't feel much of that.  Sure, I appreciated the job and was having a good time.  But, I was more concerned with everything I hadn't accomplished, everything I didn't have in my life.  Come from that place, and trust me, no job feels like you would want it to feel.

So, here's to what Jim Moret figured out working through his crisis--it's about the attitude, joy, and happiness we choose to have, not the empty feeling of we mistakenly think we might want.